ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
