It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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