i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
