scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
