Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
