: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
