new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
