how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
