Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
