I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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