I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
