I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
