So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
