I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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