found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
