we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have aggressive nipples.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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