Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
