I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
