Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize