More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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