i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
