What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
