either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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