you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
