I wish i was in the wii world.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
