I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
