I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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