i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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