she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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