so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
