we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
