The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
