Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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