i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
