I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
