I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
