ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
