for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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