Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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