yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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