So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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