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escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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