You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
