so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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