big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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