Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
