i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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