I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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