very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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