it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
