Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
