I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
