They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also, beer. Big fan.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
