Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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