my mouth tastes like poor choices
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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