I cockslap morals
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize