Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
