He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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