I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
